How To Find Out If Someone Is On A Dating Site

WHAT’S THE 411?

Tip #1: Find Someone on Dating Sites by Email. You’ll have to do your research to determine if this is legal or advisable where you live. If you’re willing to risk it, enter your partner’s email address into the login box on the dating site you suspect they’re using. Situation comes up more often than you’d think. Usually, you’re dating someone.

WHAT’S THE 411? (an ode to Mary J. Blige)

What do you really know about this new guy you’ve been dating?

Several weeks ago, I published a post that discussed tips for online dating. Since then I’ve been thinking about the degree to which you should research someone you are dating.

Some of the practices I’ve used (or that has been used on me, by the admission of those I’ve dated) may seem a little stalker-ish to some.

But in actuality, it is not.

If you are able to get honest answers to all the questions you have about this individual, then that’s wonderful!

Unfortunately, during the dating process, you may discover that honesty is not a core character trait of the person you are dating.

That doesn’t mean that everyone you date suffers from this deficiency.

However, you must protect yourself and be prepared for the possibility that your new guy suffers from this disorder. 😉

One way to determine whether he has this character flaw is to do your own research.

Find Out If Someone Is On Dating Sites

If you were applying for a professional job you would research the company and the leadership team.

You would identify people who will be interviewing you and during the interview, you would likely ask them what it’s like being employed by that company.

Just like a job interview is your opportunity to investigate the company, so is the dating process, your opportunity to investigate the person you are dating.

You owe it to yourself to research any person you are dating.

So jump right in!

Here’s how to find out information about someone you are dating:

Even if you do not have his social security number (which you probably shouldn’t), you can still find out enough about someone to satisfy your initial concerns.

1. Social Media

In this day and age, almost everyone has a social media footprint. The information you can glean about someone varies by the tool you choose to use, nevertheless, the information is out there.

• Google – When conducting my research Google is always my first choice. Many or no search results may pop up for the name you entered. Be sure to reflect the correct spelling of his name and include a middle name if you know it. This will definitely help you to find your guy. Also, if they own a business, be sure to run a Google search on their business name.
• Facebook – Even though his Facebook page may be blocked to people who are not friends, it’s still worth checking. You may discover that you have mutual friends. Identifying a mutual friend would be the ideal situation, albeit tricky. Try to put out feelers out to assess whether this friend’s loyalties lie with you or with the new guy. Either way, ask your mutual friend questions about the new guy. But be prepared that the new guy may find out about your questions.

2. LinkedIn

LinkedIn may assist in confirming where he is/was employed and for how long. As a professional networking tool, you may also use LinkedIn to determine whether you have mutual connections who could also confirm his employment status or history.

3. Public Records

Many government agencies and municipalities make public records available online. For example, a quick search on the county tax office website will tell you whether he has any personal property (ie. vehicle, boat, or dog) or real property for which he pays taxes. His real property tax record will tell you where he lives and whether he owns the property by himself or jointly with someone else. Additionally, if he owns a business, check the department of the secretary of state website. After conducting a search under his company name, you will know whether his company is still in operation or has been dissolved (assuming he filed the necessary corporate filings).

4. Collegiate Alumni Registry

Once you know the college or university from which he graduated and the year of his graduation you may be able to identify mutual friends either through Facebook or LinkedIn. These mutual friends can confirm that he attended and graduated from the college or university that he said. Additionally, some university/collegiate alumni organizations also have local chapters in certain cities which may be another avenue to confirm his academic stats.

5. Pan-Hellenic Affiliation

If he represents himself as a member of a fraternity, there are a few ways to confirm his membership. Is he affiliated with a local chapter? If he is, then you should use your connections to confirm this.

Alternatively, if you know the school he attended (assuming that’s where he pledged) and the year he graduated you may be able to use your connections to confirm his membership status.

Your friendship or association with members of his alleged fraternal organization would be happy to oblige your request to validate his affiliation.

Members of fraternal organizations do not take lightly to impersonators. So I’m sure you will have plenty of help in this area.

6. Company Directory

If you have serious concerns regarding his employment status, and he works in a corporate setting you may call the general information line of his company and access the company directory to see if he is listed.

Additionally, some companies use a third-party verification system to confirm an employees employment status. The employer’s verification reference number may be on the company website. If you are lucky, you have access to all that information and can call the verification line to get the information you seek.

7. Background Check Sites

If you don’t mind paying a fee, there are also companies that offer personal background checks. This is definitely an option worth investigating if you have all the information necessary for them to conduct the background check.

I admit that perhaps, a few of these options may seem a bit much to some.

How else are you to find out information about someone you are dating if you don’t get a little creative?

Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of my fair share of men who were less than honest about themselves.

And I don’t think I’m alone in that group!

These tips listed may not yield definitive proof that he’s lying…but it will give you answers to some of the questions that you may have.

And you will be more inclined to ask better questions when dating someone new.

How To Find Out If Someone Is Real On A Dating Site

Then decide for yourself based on your research and his/her responses to your questions, whether you want to continue dating.

Either way, tread lightly. Walk into the situation with your eyes wide open!

Good luck in your dating adventures…

Oh, and leave a comment below to let me know what tools you’ve used to find out information about someone you are dating.